Portal or Dare
by Pinegirl14
Summary: Neko and Nick have fun thinking with portals.
1. The Random Begins!

**Oh. this will be FUN.**

Two people walked slowly down the halls of Aperture. One was female, with long caramel hair covering her left eye, a teal streak and feathers in her hair, a peace-sign belly shirt, short-shorts, detached silver sleeves with purple edges, long-fall boots, a small black bow on the right side of her head, and a Waddle Dee hugged to her chest. An ASHPoD was on her arm.

The boy next to her had the same color hair covering his right eye, a short-sleeve shirt with a skull on it, bandages on his wrists, shorts, long-fall boots, green feathers, a green streak in his hair, and an ASHPoD.

They walked into a large room. "There you are! Why are we all in here? I demand to know why you are in my facility!" GlaDOS yelled.

"Can it, computer, we just want to have some fun." The girl said.

"Yeah. Besides, WE'RE the authors, so we can do what we want." The boy added.

"Can you at least tell us who you are?" Wheatley asked.

"Oh, sure. I'm Neko." The girl said.

"And I'm Nick." The boy said.

Chell glared at Neko and hugged her Companion Cube. Neko rolled her eyes and continued, "Anyway, this is my new story, Portal or Dare. Crap name, I know. Me, Nick, and reviewers will give you truths and dares, and if you refuse, you get a portal to the face. Or infinite loop portal. Our choice." Neko held up her ASHPoD and grinned.

Nick pulled out a clipboard. "Just a list of who's here..."

PORTAL CHARACTORS

Chell

GlaDOS

Wheatley

Companion Cube

Fact Core

Space Core

Rick/Adventure Core

Morality  
>Curiosity<p>

Anger

Intelligence

Oracle Turret

Defective Turret

Cave

Caroline

OCS

Neko

Nick

Waddle Dee

"Okay!" Nick said, taking away the clipboard. "First dare is for Chell!"

Neko grinned. "We dare you to kiss GlaDOS!"

Chell's eyes widened and she shook her head wildly. Nick held out his portal gun. "Dare or face portal."

Chell shook with anger and she kissed GlaDOS on the cheek for less than half a second.

Nick, Neko, and Defective started laughing wildly. Neko fought through the laughs and said, "Okay. Okay. Next is for Wheatley."

Nick was crying out of laughter, but he said, "You have to admit that you're the biggest moron ever."

Wheatley's optic widened and he yelled. "I. AM. NOT. A. MORON!"

Neko shrugged. "Okay..." She shot a portal above and below Wheatley.

Wheatley's screams as he fell almost drowned out GLaDOS's laughing. "Shut up, GLaDOS. YOU'RE NEXT."

Nick narrowed his eyes at the AI and said, "I dare you to give Chell cake, then be downloaded into this-" Neko pulled a humanlike android from nowhere. "-and Chell chooses the worst thing you did to her, and you have to do that.

Wheatley and GLaDOS both started screaming things that I will not repeat at the twins.

**IDEAS ARE LOVED AND CHERISHED WITH THE PASSION OF A THOUSAND SUNSSSSS**

**PLEASE HELP**


	2. Shall we start your dares?

**Okay. So if it wasn't clear, you can dare Neko, Nick, and Waddle Dee too.**

**Too Feeptheninja, I'M SORRY! I didn't find your Portal Truth or Dare until you reviewed mine...it's kind of copying...**

**I don't own Portal.**

* * *

><p>GLaDOS was shaking her 'head' rapidly. "Nononononononononononono! Please no!"<p>

Chell's eyes were mischieviously evil. "Well, lets get you into this!" Nick yelled as he hit the switch to start the transfer.

Neko grabbed something from her pocket. "Hey, Nick! A reviewer gave us three dares. Shadow Dweller 398 is the sender..."

Nick was yelling over GLaDOS's wild screams. "Well read it!" he said as he started trying to restrain Android!GLaDOS.

Neko nodded and read the first dare. "Cave has to use SCIENCE to make grape juice." She looked up at Cave. "Out of combustible lemons."

Cave grinned manically and started to work. "CAROLINE!" he yelled. "Get me some tools!"

"...Okay. While he works on that-" "HELP!" Nick yelled at Neko. GLaDOS had her hands at his neck. Neko and Chell grabbed her by the arms. Neko kicked GLaDOS and said, "CAKE MAKING TIME!"

As GLaDOS grumbled and went to make cake, Nick read over Neko's shoulder, "The new and the old Companion Cubes have to fight it out about who is more of Chell's companion."

One of the new CC's came into the room and said, "Obviously I'm more of the companion! I'm new, I'm better, and she DIDN'T chuck me into an incinerator!"

Chell's CC gave a little hop. "No!" it said in a high-pitched male voice.

Neko laughed. "Hey, it sounds like Len Kagamine!"

The first CC continued, "She incinerated me because she had to, I knew it was hard for her but I had to be sacrificed! It gave her motive to blow Her up!"

New CC said, "Well, I didn't see her-"

Neko held up a hand. "Wait. I think Shadow meant fist-fighting..."She snapped her fingers and the CC's became human. "FIGHT!"

CC 1 and CC2 ended up in one of those dust-cloud fight things, but Neko was positively certain she saw Chell's CC bite the other one.

Their fight was interrupted by Cave screaming "EUREKA!"

Nick and Neko took that time to turn them back into cubes.

Cave continued, "I have made...GRAPE JUICE FROM LEMONS!" He started laughing manaically before Neko whacked him in the back of the head.

Nick continued the dares as Neko beat up Cave with Caroline trying to restrain her. "Okay, so...Defective and Oracle have to sing Cara Mia in their own special way." He looked at the defective turret and made a start motion.

Defective looked nervous. "Uh...Da da da cara mia denda bambinia da da, da da stima, da da stima, ah cara mia...NIRVANA!"

Neko stopped beating on Cave. "That made NO sense."

Defective shrugged-well, as much of a shrug a turret can do. "Sorry?"

Neko sighed and looked at Ora. "You?"

Ora sang, "Cara den cara mia den da ya bambina a tra, ke la stima, ke la stima, a cara mia...uh...HER NAME IS CAROLINE!"

Caroline looked at the turret. "Yes. Yes it is."

Neko rolled her eyes and got off Cave. "NEXT!" She pulled out a new list.

"It just says we need a frankenturret." Nick said.

"Oh." Neko snapped her fingers. "OH! Read this while I'm gone!" She dashed off, leaving everyone with WTF faces. Waddle Dee curled up sadly in a corner.

Nick rolled his eyes and looked at the paper. Suddenly he grinned evilly. He smiled, looked up, and said loudly, "THIS. SENTENCE. IS. FALSE!"

GLaDOS screamed, covering her ears and saying repeatedly, "Don't think about it don't think about it don't think about it..."

Wheatley, Rick, and Space just looked blank.

Fact said, "ERROR. OVERLOAD. FILE NOT FOUND. CTRL. ALT. DELETE."

Morality and Anger were silent, but sparks flew out of Anger's optic before he started screaming.

Curiosity just asked, "How does that make sense?"

Intelligence just sat there, reciting the cake recipe.

Defect and Ora started scuttling in circles. "GAHNONONONO!" they screamed.

Neko walked in, beaming. "Nick! I got the-" She cut off. "What. Did. You. DO?" she demanded.

Wheatley rose his voice. "Paradox!" he yelled.

Neko punched Nick out and yelled, "EVERYBODY SHUT UP!"

When everyone was quieted, she said, "Okay. Now we have three more dareable members."

"Atlas, P-Body, and Frankenturret."

"So everybody!" she said, turning to the audience. "Keep the dares coming! We have mine to do now, but please keep thinking up dares for us!"

Neko turned back around. "We'll do two of mine, 'kay? Then you can rest."

Picking up her Waddle Dee, she read, "Defective has-"

"WAIT!" GLaDOS yelled. "Cake!" She pulled out a Black Forest cake and put it on Chell's lap.

Chell looked at it suspiciously. Neko rolled her eyes and said, "Oh for God's sake- Waddle Dee, check that the cake has no poison!"

Waddle Dee bounced up to Chell and sniffed the cake. He gave a happy thumbs up and walked back to Neko.

Chell immediately dug into the cake as Nick came to. "Wha-" Neko ignored the insults screamed at her and gave Chell a pad and pen. "Here, when you're done, take GLaDOS to the worst thing she did to you."

She turned back to the two dares she'd selected. "Defective has to shoot a target with cherry tomatoes."

Defective screamed as cherry tomatoes were crammed where bullets should be, but the tomatoes got stuck and wouldn't come out.

Neko rolled her eyes and read, "Fact? Say you love Rick."

Fact Core shook his face plates. "Fact: That would be a lie. The Fact Sphere cannot lie."

Neko grinned. "Okay..." She picked up Fact and dropped him in Wheatley's loop.

Nick stumbled up to his feet and said, "Until next time!" Turning, he yelled, "NEKO I'M GONNA KILL YOU!"


End file.
